Stakeholder Meetings are the Red Weddings of Product Design

Of all the GOT books I read, nothing shocked me or stuck in my memory as the Red Wedding. And almost 12 years into my design career, I’m starting to get the same feeling from stakeholder meetings. And since it’s the month for Horror…here we go.

Why do stakeholder meetings exist?

Stakeholder meetings are essentially a chance for any stakeholder of a certain product, the client, product managers, CTOs etc to get an update by the designer or discuss a certain design decision. Alignment.

12 years later? I honestly think they’re a waste of time. Because:

What actually happens…every time I’m unwise enough to accept them

opening a window for discussion is often considered an invite to brainstorm, which really should not be happening midway through design. Not by people who are not involved in design.

“Let’s copy what [insert app name] app does”

The Lannisters send their regards

Yeah…no. Because not only have you already approved this design earlier, what they do is not relevant. The use case is different. Changing now means adjusting everything else to make it work.

“Why doesn’t this work”: the conversation that brings me to tears

Because it’s a design prototype, not a real product and this feature you’re trying is not included in the prototype.

“But I thought you prototype with live components now”

Yes. The component exists but the interaction and behavior of the feature are not in this prototype. We’re discussing another feature today ☹️…remember?

“Then what’s the point of throwing money on vibe coding prototypes”

I have my own claude subscription, you don’t pay anything. And I thought you liked the speed.

*I cancelled my Anthropic subscription and no longer make live prototypes. AI is getting on my last nerve. But this was an argument when I still had it.

“Speed does not mean unfinished work. This animation is not the best quality”

it looks unfinished because it is. This is a work in progress and everyone here is aware of it.

This is the main reason I think these meetings are pointless. No user or client will ever comprehend the term “in progress” no matter how much you stress it. In their minds, a presented design is finished, and they are here to give feedback on the whole product. Totally pointless, I swear.

“Your Grace, I feel I’ve been remiss in my duties. I’ve given you meat and wine and music, but I haven’t shown you the hospitality you deserve. My King has married and I owe my new Queen a wedding gift.”

And after all that, you get this “I want to be involved, let’s meet again when you apply the requested changes.”

So not only did we ruin 8 weeks of future planned work with requests irrelevant to what we came to discuss, no, we’d like to do it again.

“The Red Wedding, they’re calling it. Walder Frey committed sacrilege that day. He shared bread and salt with the Starks. He offered them guest right… 

I don’t know if I’m done with stakeholder meetings or with design. It pains me to feel like this about the career I love. Maybe it’s time to stop working with spoiled entitled people. Discussion is for people who can listen, not only speak.